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11th
DEC
Merry (to Me)
Posted by AdamT | Filed under Comedy, Websites
I have been considering, lately, what to get my in-laws for Christmas. They are puzzling; I could ponder for months and still pass them a gift card… I have decided to apply the LCD (lowest common denominator to a primary schooler). Really quite a revolutionary idea, I will make the mirth of gifts available to all of the onlookers and perhaps the humored recipient as well.
Here are some of my ideas:
Kopi Luwak Coffee- Its the bile patina that you will relish. Roasted at 98F, and sorted by men of questionable habits (savoring the wak of lewaks), this bold and tangy bean is my top choice for this seasons greeting.
20 million candle torch- If your brother in law is a poacher, he will love the ability to spot and drop animals up to 200lbs, without even firing a shot. This torch likely has the ability to illuminate and fry the liver of an endangered species at 200 yards. Also remember that no matter how big an intruder is, his retina is like shrink wrap once you spot him with this must have.
http://www.rewci.com/20micaposp.html
Memorabilia- Nothing says regift like memorabilia. You can share a shot-glass from the Prohibition museum, a crushed penny from the train wreck museum, or just give them some really original mugs. My favorite is perhaps salt water taffy with a 6 month old casing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_taffy
Oil Painting- When considering the perfect gift for a woman who spends her time gathering bric-a-brac to go with her Victorian “theme”, consider the obligation behind a real oil painting. You can grace her wall with a reclining nude (the more modern the more blunt), you can add a touch of Pink Floyd with a Magritte, and if you are up for the real ha-ha, a portrait of you (not spouse).
http://www.repropaint.com/gallery.htm
Please keep in mind that I would never advocate giving a gift that is not in-earnest. Always show you put thought behind your bow.
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Tags: christmas, gifts, in-laws, kopi luwak, memorabilia, oil painting, torch
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December 11, 2007 -
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Wow,
I wouldn’t have believed it unless I went to the website, but that coffee is something to really think about. I particularly love the french press displayed on their front page, showing that good flavor takes time to digest…
Great Ideas. But if you go with a fruit cake any coffee will be suffice to wash it down..My brother has one of those lights!…The air moistened hard Christmas candy is another apalling, I mean appealing treat. Whatever you give them It is the thought that matters. hmmmm I wonder what they think about your gift. Hmmm?